【大紀元2014年08月17日訊】（大紀元記者岳青報導）2011年三妹群發的前言：高智晟這篇《心聲》竟然陰差陽錯地耽誤了兩年才與讀者見面。耿和為了照顧某個人的情面不願我說出這篇《心聲》的真實經歷。總而言之，誰也不能擋住高智晟拚死一發的聲音，它最終成功面世。
我的心聲（英文譯文在後面）
高智晟
朗朗乾坤下，偌大的自由文明世界，中國共產黨仍無惡不敢為且無惡不能為，令人驚嘆！
在十三億同胞中，我們一家人竟是如此的無助。
2007年9月份前，在中國大地上只有四個人不願聽共產黨的話仍堅持公開與我往來。結果，這四個人中，一人長期被警察圍困，三人在九月份被綁架遭到野蠻歐打和精神折磨。至2008年，仍不願聽話放棄的胡佳遭到非法關押，黃燕被綁架後與「法輪功」學員關在一起，遭到殘酷折磨。而黃燕此後親眼所見、親耳所聞的「法輪功」同胞所遭受的酷刑更加駭人聽聞。在酷刑威懾下的今天，中國已無一人再敢公開與我往來。
現在，我要發出點聲音不僅是異常困難，而且十分危險。當局在三年多的時間裡，投入大量的人力、物力、財力，以最殘酷的手段，來達到阻止我發出聲音的目的。以致於我去年11月份出來後到外地，連住賓館都有警察在同一個房間貼身監視。他們實際上成功地達到了此目的，把我變成了一個僅能行走的廢物。我常與妻子戲稱：「世界上六十億同類一起生活在同一個地球村，我們家卻與世隔絕。」外界朋友們可能會覺得我們一家苦不堪言，其實最苦的是我妻子耿和。我生性樂觀，又是信主的人，即便被酷刑折磨得死去活來時，痛苦亦僅止於皮肉。裝著神的心裡確實滿滿實實地沒有接納痛苦的心理空間。我和兩個孩子經常大聲歌唱，耿和卻從不參加，我的各種努力都不能使妻子擺脫苦楚。
耿和的苦楚源於女兒格格的不能去上學。自從孩子不能上學後，我也絕望過一陣子，感到沒有任何一件事比之更加令我痛心，我在震驚和憤怒中不斷地對當局抗議。耿和為此精神幾近崩潰。
藉此，我亦特別呼籲懇請，那些在大陸尚有點自由的朋友們，持續關注郭飛雄，並幫助他的妻子和孩子。在今天中共鷹犬遍地之時，民族精神陷入罕見的停滯狀態之地，我們需要郭飛雄這樣為民抗爭的勇士。郭飛雄、胡佳、楊天水、陳光誠、許萬平、王炳章、郭泉們這些以生命捍衛自由信仰的勇士才是中國的希望。今天幫助他們及他們的親人可以使我們這個多難的民族在將來回顧這段歷史時，給我們的子孫少留下一點恥笑。
在現今的中國，人們普遍心知肚明的是，生活在善意和道德中已經十分困難。胡佳的命運進一步揭示了這個嚴酷的社會現實：做一個道德高尚的人不但困難而且危險。善惡有報這個人類古老的傳統觀念在今天中共黨文化充斥的現實生活中遭到致命毀壞。在傳統的中國社會，對道德和善良的維護隨處可見，而今日中國，對道德和善良的維護早被一掃而空、連根拔除，中共國家政權成為不道德和惡的典型象徵和代表。
今天中國所有所謂的經濟奇蹟，無不以「致命毀壞」為代價。人們為之雀躍的只是表面繁榮的畸形經濟發展，而對環境遭如此惡劣的破壞卻視而不見，對迄今近70%的中國人長期被置於任何社會保障之外的非人道現實也視而不見。今天的中國，傳統的水鄉沒水喝，傳統的奶鄉無奶喝，農民不吃自己產的糧，食品製造者不吃自己製造的食品，這些早已是普遍現象。掩耳盜鈴，指鹿為馬，醜化美，美化醜成了社會風靡的時尚，而在這一切當中，中共政權這個不誠實、不道德的壞榜樣的身影無所不在。
這個無良政府利用它制定的惡法揚惡抑善，致使惡人當道。在競爭中，誰有權力誰就能勝出，誰不講道德誰也能勝出，強大的權貴集團則這樣形成。司法不公，惡警當道更使人們對在不公正改革中形成的權力集團充滿了仇恨和鄙視。各地迭連發生的暴力抗爭事件，敲響了這個民族再一次被迫進入暴力循環的不詳的鐘聲。
今天的中國社會，民情頹靡，整個社會並不僅僅是一些人的嚴重腐化，而是大多數人的普遍墮落。一場讓當政者沾沾自喜的奧運會，把極權政治和文化強加之在「體育盛會之中」，用專制精神置換奧運精神。奧運會千人一面的專制文化恰到好處地大肆渲染了所謂的和平崛起形象，在這樣的過程中，強權擺弄下的歌舞狂歡掩蓋了底層民眾的悲慘呼號，掩蓋了中共踐踏人權的惡行。我在新疆方得知：今年奧運火炬在大陸的傳遞所到之處，路邊歡樂的人群都是當局組織的。還由機關單位把警告口頭傳達至火炬沿途的每個家庭、每個人，即：「任何人不得打開窗戶、不得舉標語喊口號，否則，滿街的阻擊手將果斷處置，一切後果自負。」轟轟烈烈的背後是人們看不到的虛假安排，表面歡呼及和諧的背後是赤裸裸武力恫嚇。中共就是這樣操縱本國人民轟轟烈烈地排斥一切不同的聲音，把中共的虛假景觀拓展至全世界面前。
權力集團中的大部份人也都清楚地看到，中共製造的這些虛假景觀都無法挽救專制必亡的頹勢。轟轟烈烈的宣傳一過，貪官惡警們的惡行依舊，中國各地的抗爭依然峰起。
藉此，我謹向海外真誠關心中國命運的華人朋友們致謝。呼籲更多的海外華人關心並致力於和平推進民主憲政；呼籲海外民運、信仰團體及其爭取權益的團體團結起來，堅定致力於中國的民主和平轉型；呼籲設立人權工作委員會，為每一位人權受害者去控訴。中國的人權受害者多如牛毛，儘量把能蒐集到的每一個人權迫害案件呈送聯合國人權委員會及其它國家的人權部門，並定期公告。建議創辦「人權報」，每日披露人權侵害案例及施害者的姓名及名稱，把堆積如山的中國的人權災難真實展現在全世界眼前。委員會應下設各省及城市工作組，以蒐集及聲援人權案件為主。另可設立若干專門工作組，諸如：宗教信仰工作組、上訪問題工作組、失地農民工作組，「六·四」問題工作組等。將國內人權具體受害者的問題納入具體行動中才是真正民主憲政的價值之源。
在此亦建議人們在行動上，聯合所有華人反專制力量，包括聯合一切致力於尋求民族自治的團體。並通過廣播網等形式將未來中國聯省（邦）自治對國家和人民的益處廣而告之，諸如聯省自治使少數民族自治自然水到渠成地實現。也要實現未來中國對所有公民的包括醫療、養老等方面具體的普遍的福利制度；實現獨立的司法；實現未來政府對所有受專制迫害的具體受害人每年以一定的財政比例予國家賠償的承諾；追究共產黨首惡的刑事責任等，要效《九評》傳播之法，傳播我們的這些理念，促使國人的覺醒。
在此，我還要忍不住給中國的民運維權領域喊喊話，現在相當多的民運及維權人士已變得不再是行動者，而是沽名釣譽的民運投機者。他們對我們民族災難史上最驚天駭地的中共政權對法輪功的迫害睜眼不見，充耳不聞。我公開為法輪功信仰群體呼籲後，私下接觸者皆說我激進。這種「共識」慣壞了當下中國的最惡的惡種，給被迫害的同胞雪上加霜。我發起的絕食抗暴行動和平且合法，這些沽名釣譽的民運投機者不但不支持，還幾乎在同時四面撲來軟硬兼施的指責。他們中的一些寫手文人們，更是打著「義旗」從背後殺將過來，在我身陷囹圄時還不停止，讓人扼腕嘆息。為甚麼要這樣？！我說話的機會不多，今天必須點明這點——這是陰暗人性使然，是自私人性使然！停下來吧！無論你捏拿得多麼爐火純青，也是枉然。在酷刑後我說出這苦楚的真實心聲，雖很逆耳，但絕非激憤之言。
今天，中共在全世界的「好朋友」、「好夥伴」們，他們對中國共產黨這個當代人類最黑暗政權維護者的反文明現實大都心知肚明。但是這些中共的「好朋友」、「好夥伴」們卻因為利益而成為泛黑暗政治的一部份。還有一些中共的「好朋友」、「好夥伴」們則是被共產黨精緻的欺騙所迷惑，他們完全不瞭解共產極權的邪惡本質，他們甚至為他們所看到的虛假東西唱讚歌。
最後感謝那些真正關心中國人權事業的外國朋友們，感謝斯考特先生、諾瓦克先生、加拿大的兩位大衛先生及歐洲議會的先生和女士們，你們給以我們無私的道義支持，你們的支持是我們為自由民主而抗爭的希望所在。
這篇文字將使我再次遭綁架，遭綁架已成為我的生活常態，如果它要再一次來臨，就讓它來吧！
高智晟2009年1月1日完稿
Speaking from My Heart
By Gao Zhisheng
Under Heaven’s watchful eye, and amidst the vast free and civilized world, there is no evil that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) would shy away from or is incapable of. It is truly shocking!
Even though China possesses 1.3 billion fellow citizens, my family, bereft of support, can be so very helpless!
Before September 2007, there were only four people in China who refused to follow the Chinese Communist Party and persisted in being friends with me openly. As a result, one of them is continually followed by police; the other three were kidnapped in September and suffered brutal beatings and mental torture. In 2008, Hu Jia, who continued to refuse to follow the orders of the CCP, was held in prison. Huang Yan was kidnapped and kept in prison with Falun Gong practitioners where she suffered cruel torture. In addition, Huang heard and witnessed that the torture Falun Gong adherents had suffered was even more terrifying. Under the intimidation of torture, no one dares to communicate with me openly in today’s China.
It is now extremely difficult for me to make my voice heard. Moreover, I am constantly in a situation of peril. Since more than three years, the authorities invested a large amount of manpower, money, as well as employed the most merciless methods, to achieve their goal to silence me. In November last year when I lived in a hotel, police shared the same room with me, stifling every morsel of personal freedom. They have actually achieved their purpose of turning me into an alive but pitiful human being. I often tell my wife Geng jokingly: 「Six billion people live together on our global village, but our family is severed from the rest of the world.」
Outsiders may feel that my family is leading an extremely miserable life. As a matter of fact, my wife is the one who has suffered the most. I am optimistic in nature, and I believe in the Creator. Even when I was tortured to near-death, the pain was only in the physical body. A heart that is filled with God has no room to entertain pain and suffering. I often sing along loudly with my two children, but my wife never joins us. Despite all my efforts, she still feels miserable in her heart.
The root of her suffering comes from the fact that our daughter Gege cannot go to school. Since she was forbidden to go to school, I was also in despair for a while. There is nothing more traumatizing than this. Shocked and outraged, I continuously protest to the authorities. My wife Geng is on the brink of a mental breakdown over this matter.
I’d like to take this opportunity to appeal to those friends who still enjoy a certain measure of freedom to continue to show your concern for Guo Feixiong, and to help his wife and children. When the CCP’s hired thugs are everywhere on China’s soil, when our nation’s spirit falls into an impasse, we need heroes like Guo who fight for the people. These courageous heroes, Guo Feixiong, Hu Jia, Yang Tianshui, Chen Guangcheng, Xu Wanping, Wang Bingzhang and Guo Quan, who sacrifice and risk their lives to defend China’s freedom and belief, are the true hope of China. If we offer more help to them and their loved ones today, our children and grandchildren will not feel ashamed of us when looking back in this chapter of history.
In today’s China, we know in our hearts that kindness and moral values are getting harder to find. Hu Jia’s experience further demonstrated a harsh reality – it is not only difficult but also dangerous to be a morally righteous person. Since ancient times, people have long believed that kindness will be repaid with kindness, and evil will be repaid with evil. However, this belief has been devastated in today’s China where the Communist Party culture has infiltrated into every order of society.
In the old days when tradition was maintained, people cherished and protected virtues and kindness. However, in today’s China, the upholding of moral values and goodness has been uprooted. The Chinese communist regime has become synonymous for immorality and evil.
The so-called economic miracle in China was merely built upon deadly destruction to the environment. While people rejoice at the distorted economic development that results in China’s superficial prosperity, they turn a blind eye to the horrific damages to the environment in China, and to the cruel reality that 70 percent of the Chinese population have been deprived of social rights. In today’s China, people in villages with water resources are afraid of drinking their own water, those in milk farms are afraid of drinking their own milk, farmers are afraid of eating their own harvests, and food manufacturers are afraid of eating their own food products. It is the overwhelming reality.
People pretend not to see the reality and deny the truth. It has become a trend in China to dismiss beauty and worship ugliness. Meanwhile, the Chinese Communist Party sets a bad example and is the source of all the problems in China.The depraved government of China makes regulations to suppress the good and encourage the bad, causing bad people to become rampant in China. Those with power will always prevail in competition. Those without morals, too, will prevail. Mogul groups were formed by such people. The corrupted justice system in China has further instigated hatred and loathing against the powerful groups that have risen from the unjust economic reforms. Protests and violence took place all over China, leading China into yet another cycle of violence.
Today’s China is a corrupted society. It is not corrupted by a selected few. Instead, the majority of the Chinese population is corrupted. While the CCP took great pride in hosting the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, the Games allowed the regime to enforce its totalitarian rule upon this grand sports event. The CCP replaced the Olympic spirit with its totalitarianism. The North Korean style programs at the Olympic opening and ending ceremonies embodied the authoritarian culture including depiction of China’s 「peaceful rise.」 The songs and dances at the Games covered up the cries for help from people at the bottom of the Chinese society and the CCP’s human rights violations. I learned when I was in Xinjiang that the crowds that cheered for the Olympic torch relays along the streets were hired by the Chinese authorities. In fact, each and every family along the path of the Olympic torch relays had been warned: No one is to open his window or door. No one is to raise any banner or shout slogans. Otherwise, they will be shot by the snipers on the streets. The outside world never knew that behind the cheers for the Olympic torch relay lay CCP’s violence and threats. This is how the CCP controls the people and suppresses the different voices of the Chinese people in order to present a false image of China to the world.Some of the power players in China must have realized that all the false impressions the CCP has made will not save it from its doom. The CCP’s costly propaganda has neither stopped the corruption of Chinese officials and police nor reduced the protests all over China.I would like to take this opportunity to express my sincere gratitude towards those Chinese people in and outside of China who have been concerned about China’s future. I would like to urge more overseas Chinese people to work together for a democratic China. I would like to urge democratic and religious groups to work together and persevere in advocating for a peaceful transformation of China into a democratic state. I would like to suggest establishing a human rights committee that represents each and every victim of China’s human rights violations. After all, there are more such victims in China than one could ever count. The reported cases should be presented to the human rights committee at the UN and countries around the world. I would also recommend founding a Human Rights newspaper dedicated to reporting human rights violations daily and the victims’ names and cities so that the large litany of human rights violations will be publicized before the world. The proposed human rights committee should have branches in different provinces and cities in China so that they can collect reports of human rights violations in China. The committee can have different work groups for violations against religious freedom, suppression against people appealing for their rights, farmers who were deprived of their lands, and people persecuted for their involvement in the democratic protest in Beijing in 1989 that ended up in the June 4th student massacre. The value of democratic rule is to be able to take action for those who suffer from human rights violations.I propose that for people who are will take action, unite all Chinese who are against totalitarian rule, including ethnic groups seeking autonomy. Also, utilize broadcast networks to tell the citizens about the benefits of a federal autonomous union of provinces. Let them know it will naturally lead to the realization of autonomy for ethnic groups. The new system also needs to develop medical, pensions and other general social security for the future China; develop an independent judicial system; develop a promise of annual compensation for the victims of dictators’ persecutions; investigate the crimes committed by those heading the Communist Party. We need to effectively spread our thoughts similar to the way the doctrines of the Nine Commentaries were disseminated, and promote people’s awareness.Also, I specially call for groups inside and outside of China, to make every effort to rescue Guo Quan and Liu Xiaobo. The arrest of Liu Xiaobo reveals the shamelessness of the current regime.Also, I cannot help but appeal to Chinese democratic and human rights activists. Currently many of the democratic and human rights figures are no longer virtuous advocates for change; they have become fame-chasing opportunists. They turn a blind eye to the persecution of Falun Gong, by the Chinese Communist regime, as if it doesn’t exist, but which is the most horrifying and cruel persecution in the history of China’s disasters. After I publicly spoke out for Falun Gong practitioners, those who contacted me in private called me radical. This kind of 「consensus」 view nourished the greatest evil deeds ever committed in China, and made the persecutions of their countrymen even worse. The anti-violence hunger strike I started was peaceful and within the law, but those fame-chasing democratic activists, instead of showing any support, rallied together to scold me. The writers among them even invoked the name of justice to attack me. They didn’t stop even after I was behind bars, this really makes me sigh with regret. Why did they do this? A chance for me to speak does not happen very often, but today I must make this clear: Those are actions by the dark side of human nature! Their selfish nature! Cease at once! No matter how skillful you can articulate your shameless views, it’s all in vain. After suffering the torture, I speak out of my true voice of pain. While not pleasant to hear, it definitely is not the voice of anger.Today, for those CCP’s collaborators in the world, they should all know the fact that the CCP is today’s darkest regime, possessing an anti-civilization nature.
However, many of these connivers of the CCP became part of the dark politics in search of their material interests. Other collaborators of the CCP are deceived by CCP’s intricate lies, and don’t understand the evil nature of the CCP, and even sing praises to its false claims and fakery.
Finally I would like to thank those friends outside the country who truly care about human rights in China. Thanks to Scott, Norwalk, the two Davids in Canada, and the ladies and gentlemen of the European Union! You gave us your selfless moral support, and our hope in fighting for freedom and human rights. The publication of this article will cause me to be kidnapped again. Kidnaps are part of my normal living now. If it comes again, then let it come!Gao Zhisheng, Jan. 1, 2009
附件：
黑夜、黑頭套、黑幫綁架高智晟
我費盡周章終會面世的文字，將撕去今日中國許多東西的人相，露出「執政者」那超乎常人想像的心腸本色。當然，這些文字亦勢將給今天共產黨在全世界的那些「好朋友」、「好夥伴」帶來些許不快、甚而至於難為情——這些「好朋友」、「好夥伴」們內心對道德及人類良知價值還存有些敬畏的話。
今天，暴富起來的共產黨，不僅在全球有了越來越多的「好朋友」、「好夥伴；」而且把「中國是一個法治國家」這種顛倒黑白的口號喊得氣壯如牛。對中華民族人權進步事業而言，之兩者無一不是災難性的。
2007年9月21日夜20點左右，當局口頭通知說讓我去接受例行的改造思想談話。行在路上，我發現較往常比有了些異樣，平時貼身跟蹤的秘密警察們拉開了較遠的距離。行至一拐角處時，迎面撲來六、七名陌生人。我的背後脖脛處被猛然一擊，眼前感到整個地面飛速向我砸來，但我並未昏迷。接下來，感到有人揪起我的頭髮，迅速套上了黑頭套，被架上了一輛憑感覺是兩側面對面置有座椅而中間無椅的車上。我被壓迫爬在中間，右側臉著地，感到有一隻大皮鞋猛然踩壓在我的臉上。多隻手開始在我身上忙祿，由於他們對我一家的綁架頻繁，故而照例在我身上未搜得對他們有價值的東西。但我感覺到了此次與以往綁架的不同。綁架者抽下了我的皮帶將我反綁，我爬在車中間，估計著有不低於四個人的腳踏在我的身上。大約四十分鐘左右，我被拖下了車站立著，褲子已掉至腳脖上的我被推搡著進了一間房屋，此前一直沒有任何說話的聲音。
我的頭套猛然間被人扯下，眼前一亮的同時，辱罵和擊打開始了。「高智晟，我操你媽的，你丫的今天死期到啦，哥幾個，先給丫的來點狠的，往死裡揍丫的」，一個頭目咬牙切齒吼叫道。這時，四個人手執電警棍在我頭上、身上猛力擊打，房間裡只剩下擊打聲和緊張的喘氣聲。我被打的爬在地上，渾身抖動不止。「別他媽讓丫的歇了」，王姓頭目吼道（後來得知之姓王）。這時，一名個頭一米九以上的大漢抓住頭髮將我揪起，王姓頭目撲過來瘋狂抽打我的臉部，「操你媽，高智晟，你丫的也配他媽穿一身黑衣服，你丫是老大呀，給丫的扒了」。我迅速被撕的一絲不剩。「讓丫的跪下」，隨著王姓頭目的一聲吼叫，後小腿被人猛擊兩下，我被打撲跪在地上。大個子繼續揪住我的頭髮迫逼我抬頭看著他們的頭目。這時，我看到房子裡一共有五人，四人手持電警棍，一人手持我的腰帶。「你丫的聽著，今天幾位大爺不要別的，就要你生不如死，高智晟我也實話告訴你，現在已不再是你和政府之間的事啦，現在他媽的已經完全變成個人之間的事啦，你丫的低頭看一看，現在地上可一滴水都沒有，待會地上的水就會沒腳脖，你他媽一會就會明白這水從那裡來」。王姓頭目在說這些話的時候開始電擊我的臉部和上身。「來，給他丫的上第二道菜」，王頭目話落，四支電警棍開始電擊我，我感到所擊之處，五臟六腑、渾身肌肉像自顧躲避似的在皮下急速跳躲。我痛苦的滿地打滾，當王姓頭目開始電擊我的生殖器時，我向他求饒過。我的求饒換來的是一片大笑和更加瘋狂的折磨。王姓頭目四次電擊我的生殖器，一邊電擊，一邊狂叫不止。數小時後，我不再有求饒的力量，也不再有力量躲避，但我的頭腦異常的清醒。我感到在電擊時我的身體抖動的非常劇烈，清楚地感到抖動的四肢濺起的水花。這是我在幾小時裡流出的汗水，我這時才明白「待會地上的水就會沒腳脖」之意。
這種深更半夜折磨人的活計對折磨者似乎也不輕鬆。天快亮時，他們有三人離開房間。「給丫的上下一道菜，待會來換你們哥倆」。王姓頭目示意留下的倆人將一把椅子搬至房中間，將我架起來坐在上面，這時，其中一人嘴裡刁上了五支煙，用火點著後猛吸幾口，另一人站在後面用力抓住我的頭髮，壓迫我低下了頭，另一人開始用那五支煙熏我的鼻子和眼晴，這樣反覆多次。他們做的很認真，也很有耐心。待到後來，我除了能偶然感到淚水流下來滴在大腿上的感覺外，已完全不再在乎眼前這倆個人的忙碌和我有甚麼聯繫。過了約兩小時左右，進來兩人換下辛苦用煙熏我的那倆位。我的眼睛腫脹得甚麼也看不清。新進來者開口說話了：「高智晟，耳朵現在還能聽到吧？算你點背，這幫人都是長年打黑除惡的，出手狠著呢。這是這次上面專門精心給你挑選的，我是誰你聽出來了沒有？我姓江（音），你去年剛出來時跟你去過新疆」。「是山東篷萊的那位嗎？」我說。「對，你記憶不錯，我說過，你早晚還要進來，上次去新疆我看你那個樣子，我就知道你再次進來是早晚的事，你看你在警察跟前目空一切的德性，不讓你再進來長點記性能行嗎？給美國國會寫信，你看你那一付漢奸德性，美國主子能給你甚麼？美國國會算個屌。這是在中國，這是共產黨的天下，你算個屁，要你的命還不像踩死隻螞蟻一樣？不明白這點還出來混，你要敢再寫那些狗屁文章，政府就得表明個態度，這一晚上你該明白了吧」？江不緊不慢地說。「你們這樣用黑幫手段殘忍地對待一個納稅人，今後有何顏面面對十幾億國人」？我問他。「你就是個挨打的東西，你心裡比誰都明白，在中國納稅人算個狗屁，別他媽口口聲聲納稅人納稅人的」，江正說著，這時又有人走進來的聲音。「甭他媽的跟他練嘴，給丫的來實在的」，我聽出來者是王姓頭目。「高智晟，你這幾位大爺給你準備了『十二道菜』，昨晚才給你伺候了三道，大爺我就不愛囉嗦，後面還要讓你丫的吃屎喝尿，還要拿簽子捅丫的「燈」（後來才明白是指生殖器）。你丫的不是說共產黨用酷刑嗎，這回讓你丫的全見識一遍。對法輪功酷刑折磨，不錯，一點都不假，我們對付你的這十二套就從法輪功那兒練過來的，實話給你說，爺我也不怕你再寫，你能活著出去的可能性沒有啦！把你弄死，讓你丫的屍體都找不著。我他媽想起來氣就不打一處來，你一個臭外地人，你丫的在北京張狂甚麼呀，哥幾個再他媽練丫的」。在接下來幾個小時的折磨中，我出現了斷斷續續的昏迷，這種昏迷可能與長時間的出汗缺水及飢餓有關。我光著身子躺在冰冷的地板上，神志像過山車一樣起伏不斷。中間感到數次有人剝開我的眼皮用光晃我的眼睛，像是在檢查我是否還活著。每至清醒時，我聞到的全是尿臭味。我的臉上、鼻孔裡、頭髮裡，全是尿水。顯然，不知何時，有人在我頭上、臉上撒了尿。這樣的折磨持續到第三天下午時，我至今不知當時那裡來的巨大力量，我怎掙脫他們，一邊大喊天昱和格格的名字，一邊猛地撞向桌子。我當時大叫孩子名字的聲音今天回想起來都感到毛骨悚然，那喊聲極其淒遠及陌生。但自殺未能成功。感謝全能的上帝，是他救了我，我真切地感到是神拖住了我。我的眼睛撞得流血不止，我倒在地上，至少有三個人坐在我的身上，其中一人坐在我的臉上。他們大笑不止，說我拿死來嚇唬他們是提著耗子嚇唬貓，這樣的事他們見得太多啦。他們一直繼續殘忍地折磨我到天黑，我的眼睛甚麼也看不見。我能聽得出，折磨我的人輪換著吃完飯後聚齊。其中一人走至我面前抓住頭髮將我揪站起來問：「高智晟，餓不餓？丫的說實話」。答曰：「餓得快要不行啦」。「想不想吃飯！得說實話」，之又問。我又答曰「想吃」。話落，不低於十幾個耳光的一陣巴掌打得我一頭栽倒在地。有一隻腳踩在我的胸上，我的下巴被電警棍猛擊一下，打得我疼得大叫。這時，有一根電警棍塞到我的嘴裡，罵聲也一同而至：「你丫的頭髮怎麼這麼不經揪？看看丫的這張嘴和別人有甚麼不一樣的，還不是要吃飯嗎？餓，丫的配嗎？」但電警棍塞進嘴裡後並沒有用電擊我。正不知所故，王姓頭目發話：「高智晟，知道為甚麼沒廢掉丫的嘴嗎？今晚上幾位大爺得讓你說上一晚上。甭跟大爺們扯別的，就說你搞女人的事。說沒有不行，說少了不行，說的不詳細也不行，說得越詳細越好，幾位大爺就好這個。大爺們吃飽喝足了，白天也睡夠了，你就開始講吧」。「操你媽，你丫的怎麼不說呀，丫的欠揍，哥幾個上，王頭目大叫」。大約三支電警棍開始電擊我，我毫無尊嚴地滿地打滾。十幾分鐘後，我渾身痙攣抖動得無法停下來。我的確求了饒：「不是不說，是沒有」，我的聲音變得很嚇人。「哥幾個，怎麼搞得呀，伺候了幾天怎麼把丫的伺候傻了？給丫的捅捅『燈』（生殖器），看丫的說不說」。接著，我被架著跪在地上，他們用牙籤捅我的生殖器。我至今無法用語言述清當時無助的痛苦與絕望。在那裡，人的的語言，人類的感情沒有了絲毫力量。最後我編了先後與四名女子「私通」，並在一次一次的折磨中「詳細」描述了與這些女人「發生性關係」的過程。直到無亮，我被抓著手在這樣的筆錄上簽了名，按了手印。「半年內讓丫的變成臭狗屎。這事整出去，你身邊的那些人會像餓狗碰了一嘴新鮮屎一樣高興的」王頭目大聲說。（我出來後得知，就在第二天，孫＊處長即把他們「掌握的」我亂搞男女關係「實情」告訴了我的妻子，耿和告訴之：其一，在給高智晟的為人下結論方面自己不需要政府幫助；其二，若過去縱有其事,在自己眼裡，他實在還是那個寫三封公開信的高智晟）。經這次折磨後，我幾乎時常處在沒有知覺的狀態中，更多的是沒有了時間知覺。不知過了多久，一群人正準備再次施刑時，突然進來人大聲喝斥了他們，讓他們都滾出去。我能聽得出，來者是市局的一位副局長，此前我多次見過之。至少在我認知的層面上對之有好感，人較為開明、直率，對我和我全家有過一些保護。當時我的眼睛不能睜開，但我整個人已體無完膚，面目全非。聽得出他也很憤怒，找了醫生給我作了檢查，說他也很震驚，但說這絕不代表黨和政府的意思。我問他誰的意思能如此無法無天，之無以對。期間，我要求送我進監獄，或送我回家，他沒有作答。最後他將折磨我的人叫進來聲斥了一陣，命他們給我買衣服穿，晚上必須給我提供被子，必須給我飯吃。並答應盡全力為我去爭取或回家，或進監獄。這位局長一離開，王姓頭目對我破口大罵：「高智晟，你他媽現在還在作夢想進監獄，美死你，今後你再甭想進監獄，只要共產黨還在，你就再也沒有進監獄的機會，甚麼時候也別想」。當天晚上，我又被套上黑頭套昏沉沉地被架到另一個不知名的地方，在那裡又被他們無休止地折磨了十幾天後。有一天，我突然又被套上黑頭套後，被人架著按著頭九十度彎腰跑步至一輛車上。上了車，我的頭被人按低至我的襠部，路上一個多小時，真至生不如死的痛苦境地。到了地方後約一小時才取下黑頭套。對我實施肉體折磨的五人中不見了四人，換來的是出獄後貼身監督我「改造」的那群秘密警察。對我肉體的折磨至此而止，而精神折磨一直持續。我被告知要開「十七大」了，在這裡等候上面的處裡意見。期間一些官員時有來訪，變得溫和了許些，也開始允許我洗臉刷牙了。亦有官員提出能否用我的寫作技術「罵罵法輪功，價錢隨你開口，知道你有這能力」。我明確告訴來者，「之不只是一個純技術問題，之是一個困難的倫理問題。」到後來一看沒有動靜，又來說「寫法輪功的文章困難的話，也可以表揚表揚政府嘛，多少錢都不成問題。」最後是「寫點東西說你出獄後政府對你全家很好，是受了法輪功和胡佳等人的蠱惑才一時糊塗寫了給美國國會的公開信的，要不然，這甚麼時候是個盡頭。你就不能可憐可憐你的妻子、孩子嗎？後來作為交換，我寫了一份說政府對我全家關心倍至，是受了法輪功和胡佳的蠱惑我才寫給美國國會公開信的材料。回家前，我又被帶到西安給胡佳打了一次電話。
大約是中秋節夜裡，此前因耿和的以自殺抗爭，當局讓我打了一次勸慰電話。通話內容都是由當局設計好的（我回來後得知，耿和所說的內容也是設計好的）。當局還錄了相（當時我還有一隻眼睛無法睜開，錄相中逼我說是自傷的）。十一月中旬回到家得知，家中部份財產再次被抄，這次抄家連一個字的紙條都沒有。
我在這五十多天裡遭遇到的肉體及精神折磨所謂駭人聽聞。期間有過許多奇異的感覺，諸如：有時候能真真切切地聽到死，有時又能真真切切地聽到生。到第十二、三天後我完全睜開眼時，我發現全身的外表變得很可怕，週身沒有一點正常的皮膚。皮膚完全呈重度烏黑色。被綁架期間，我每天「吃飯」的經歷，定會讓那些在紙上操英雄主義槍法的義士們大跌眼球。每至餓致眼冒金星時，他們會拿出饅頭來。每唱一遍《共產黨好》、《社會主義好》、《沒有共產黨就沒有「新中國」》，即可得一個饅頭。我當時的心理底線是除非萬不得已即設法活下去。死對我的妻子和兩個孩子太過於殘酷，但絕不髒污靈魄。在那樣野蠻的氛圍裡，人性，人的尊嚴是毫無力量的。如果你不唱，你不但會被飢餓折磨，而且他們會無休止地折磨你。但當他們用同樣的手段逼我寫批法輪功的文字時，即未能如他們所願。但以這種方法讓我在寫有這次政府沒有綁架我，也沒有酷刑折磨我，政府一直對全家關愛倍至的筆錄上籤名時，我是作了妥脅的。
責任編輯：林銳
