第 18 章 (上)
伊莉莎白走进尼日斐花园的会客室，在一群穿着”红制服”的人们里面寻找韦翰先生，找来找去都找不着，这时候她才怀疑他也许不会来了。她本以为他一定会来，虽然想起了过去的种种事情而颇为担心，可是她的信心并没有因此受到影响，她比平常更小心地打扮了一番，高高兴兴地准备要把他那颗没有被征服的心全部征服，她相信在今天的晚会上，一定会让她把他那颗心完全赢到手。但是过了一会儿，她起了一种可怕的怀疑：莫不是彬格莱先生请军官们的时候，为了讨达西先生的好，故意没有请韦翰吗？虽然事实并非如此，不过他缺席的原委马上就由他的朋友丹尼先生宣布了。这是因为丽迪雅迫不及待地问丹尼，丹尼就告诉她们说，韦翰前一天上城里有事去了，还没有回来，又带着意味深长的微笑补充了几句：”我想，他要不是为了要回避这儿的某一位先生，决不会就这么凑巧，偏偏这时候因事缺席。”
他这个消息丽迪雅虽然没有听见，却给伊莉莎白听见了。伊莉莎白因此断定：关于韦翰缺席的原因，虽然她开头没有猜对，却依旧是达西先生一手造成的。她觉得非常扫兴，对达西也就越发起了反感，因此接下来当达西走上前来向她问好的时候，她简直不能好声好气地回答他。要知道，对达西殷勤，宽容，忍耐，就等于伤害韦翰。她决定不跟他说一句话，怏怏不乐地掉过头来就走，甚至跟彬格莱先生说起话来也不大快乐，因为他对达西的盲目偏爱引起了她的气愤。
伊莉莎白天生不大会发脾气，虽然她今天晚上大为扫兴，可是她情绪上并没有不愉快多少时候。她先把满腔的愁苦都告诉了那位一星期没有见面的夏绿蒂?卢卡斯小姐，过了一会儿又自告奋勇地把她表兄奇奇怪怪的情形讲给她听，一面又特别把他指出来给他看。头两场舞重新使他觉得烦恼，那是两场活受罪的跳舞。柯林斯先生又呆笨又刻板，只知道道歉，却不知道小心一些，往往脚步弄错了自己还不知道。他真是个十足叫人讨厌的舞伴，使她丢尽了脸，受尽了罪。因此，从他手里解脱出来，真叫她喜欢欲狂。
她接着跟一位军官跳舞，跟他谈起韦翰的事。听他说，韦翰是个到处讨人喜爱的人，于是她精神上舒服了许多。跳过这几场舞以后，她就回到夏绿蒂?卢卡斯身边，跟她谈话，这时候突然听到达西先生叫她，出其不意地请她跳舞，她吃了一惊，竟然不由自主地答应了他。达西跳过以后便立刻走开了，于是她口口声声怪自己为什么这样没主意。夏绿蒂尽力安慰她。你将来一定会发觉他很讨人喜欢的。”天不容！那才叫做倒了大的霉呢！下定决心去恨一个人，竟会一下子又喜欢起他来！别这样咒我吧。”
当跳舞重新开始，达西又走到她跟前来请她跳舞的时候，夏绿蒂禁不住跟她咬了咬耳朵，提醒她别做傻瓜，别为了对韦翰有好感，就宁可得罪一个比韦翰的身价高上十倍的人。伊莉莎白没有回答便下了舞池，她想不到居然会有这样的体面，跟达西先生面对面跳舞，她看见身旁的人们也同样露出了惊奇的目光。他们俩跳了一会儿，一句话也没有交谈。她想像着这两场舞可能一直要沉默到底，开头决定不要打破这种沉默，后来突然异想天开，认为如果逼得她的舞伴不得不说几句话，那就会叫他受更大的罪，于是她就说了几句关于跳舞方面的话。他回答了她的话，接着又是沉默。歇了几分钟，她第二次跟他攀谈：现在该轮到你谈谈啦，达西先生。我既然谈了跳舞，你就得谈谈舞池的大小以及有多少对舞伴之类的问题。”
他笑了笑，告诉她说，她要他说什么他就说什么。好极了；这种回答眼前也说得过去了。待一忽儿我或许会谈到私人舞会比公共场所的跳舞会来得好；不过，我们现在可以不必作声了。”那么说，你跳起舞来照例总得要谈上几句吗？”有时候要的。你知道，一个人总得要说些话。接连半个钟头待在一块儿一声不响，那是够别扭的。不过有些人就偏偏巴不得说话愈少愈好，为这些人着想，谈话也不妨安排得少一点。”在目前这样的情况下，你是在照顾你自已的情绪呢，还是想要使我情绪上快慰？”一举两得，”伊莉莎白油滑地回答道。”因为我老是感觉到我们俩转的念头很相同。你我的性格跟人家都不大合得来，又不愿意多说话，难得开口，除非想说几句一鸣惊人的话，让大家当作格言来流传千古。”
他说：”我觉得你的性格并不见得就是这样，我的性格是否有很近似这方面，我也不敢说。你一定觉得你自己形容得很恰当吧。”我当然不能自己下断语。”
他没有回答，他们俩又沉默了，直等到又下池去跳舞，他这才问她是不是常常和姐妹们上麦里屯去溜达。她回答说常常去。她说到这里，实在按捺不住了，便接下去说：”你那天在那儿碰到我们的时候，我们正在结交一个新朋友呢。”
这句话立刻发生了效果。一阵傲慢的阴影罩上了他的脸，可是他一句话也没有说。伊莉莎白说不下去了，不过她心里却在埋怨自己软弱。后来还是达西很勉强地先开口说：韦翰先生生来满面春风，交起朋友来得心应手。至于他是不是能和朋友们长久相处，那就不大靠得住了。”
伊莉莎白加重语气回答道：”他真不幸，竟失去了您的友谊，而且弄成那么尴尬的局面，可能会使他一辈子都感受痛苦。”
达西没有回答，好象想换个话题。就在这当儿，威廉?卢卡斯爵士走近他们身边，打算穿过舞池走到屋子的寻一边去，可是一看到达西先生，他就停住了，礼貌周全地向他鞠了一躬，满口称赞他跳舞跳得好，舞伴又找得好。我真太高兴了，亲爱的先生，跳得这样一手好舞，真是少见。你毫无问题是属于第一流的人材。让我再唠叨一句，你这位漂亮的舞伴也真配得上你，我真希望常常有这种眼福，特别是将来有一天某一桩好事如愿的时候，亲爱的伊莉莎白小姐。”（他朝着她的姐姐和彬格莱望了一眼）”那时候将会有多热闹的祝贺场面啊。我要求达西先生：──可是我还是别打搅你吧，先生。你正在和这位小姐谈得心醉神迷，如果我耽搁了你，你是不会感激我的，瞧她那了双明亮的眼睛也在责备我呢。”
后半段话达西几乎没有听见。可是威廉爵士提起他那位朋友，却不免叫他心头大受震动，于是他一本正经去望着那正在跳舞的彬格莱和吉英。他马上又镇定了下来，掉转头来对他自己的舞伴说：威廉爵士打断了我们的话，我简直记不起我们刚刚谈些什么了。”我觉得我们根本就没有谈什么。这屋子里随便哪两个人都不比我们说话说得少的，因此威廉爵士打断不了什么话。我们已经换过两三次话题，总是谈不投机，以后还要谈些什么，我实在想不出了。”谈谈书本如何？”他笑着说。书本！噢，不；我相信我们读过的书不会一样，我们的体会也各有不同。”你会这样想，我真抱歉；假定真是那样，也不见得就无从谈起。我们也可以把不同见解比较一下。”不──我无法在舞场里谈书本；我脑子里老是想着些别的事。”你老是在为眼前的场合烦神，是不是？”他带着犹疑的眼光问。是的，老是这样，”她答道。其实她并不知道自己在说些什么，她的思想跑到老远的地方去了，你且听她突然一下子说出这样的话吧：”达西先生，我记得有一次听见你说，你生来不能原谅别人──你和别人一结下了怨，就消除不掉。我想，你结的时候总该很慎重的吧？”正是，”他坚决地说。你从来不会受到偏见和蒙蔽吗？”我想不会。”对于某些坚持已见的人说来，在拿定一个主张的时候，开头应该特别慎重地考虑一下。”是否可以允许我请教你一声，你问我这些话用意何在？”
她竭力装出若无其事的神气说：”只不过为了要解释解释你的性格罢了，我想要把你的性格弄个明白。”那么你究竟弄明白了没有？”
她摇摇头。”我一点儿也弄不明白。我听到人家对于你的看法极不一致，叫我不知道相信谁的话才好。”
他严肃的答道：”人家对于我的看法极不一致，我相信其中一定大有出入。班纳特小姐，我希望你目前还是不要刻画我的性格，我怕这样做，结果对于你我都没有好处。”可是，倘若我现在不了解你一下，以后就没有机会了。”
于是他冷冷地答道：”我决不会打断你的兴头。”她便没有再说下去。他们俩人又跳了一次舞，于是就默默无言地分手了。两个人都怏怏不乐，不过程度上不同罢了。达西心里对她颇有好感，因此一下子就原谅了她，把一肚子气愤都转到另一个人身上去了。
他们俩分手了不多一会儿，彬格莱小姐就走到伊莉莎白跟前来，带着一种又轻藐又客气的神气对她说：噢，伊丽莎小姐，我听说你对乔治?韦翰很有好感！你姐姐刚才还跟我谈到他，问了我一大堆的话。我发觉那年轻的官人虽然把什么事都说给你听了，可就偏偏忘了说他自己是老达西先生的账房老韦翰的儿子。他说达西先生待他不好，那完全是胡说，让我站在朋友的立场奉劝你，不要盲目相信他的话。达西先生一直待他太好了，只有乔治?韦翰用卑鄙的手段对待达西先生。详细情形我不清楚，不过这件事我完全知道，一点儿也不应该怪达西先生。达西一听见人家提到乔治?韦翰就受不了。我哥哥这次宴请军官们，本来也很难把他剔开，总算他自己知趣，避开了，我哥哥真高兴。他跑到这个村里来真是太荒谬了，我不懂他怎么竟敢这样做。伊丽莎小姐，我对你不起，揭穿了你心上人的过错。可是事实上你只要看看他那种出身，当然就不会指望他干出什么好事来。”
伊莉莎白生气地说：”照你的说法，他的过错和他的出身好象是一回事啦，我倒没有听到你说他别的不是，只听到他骂他是达西先生的账房的儿子，老实告诉你，这一点他早已亲自跟我讲过了。”对不起，请原谅我好管闲事；不过我是出于一片好意。”彬格莱小姐说完这话，冷笑了一下，便走开了。无礼的小妞儿！”伊莉莎白自言自语地说。”你可转错了念头啦，你以为这样卑鄙地攻击人家一下，就影响了我对人家的看法吗？你这种攻击，倒叫我看穿了你自己的顽固无知和达西先生的阴险。”她接着便去找她自己的姐姐，因为姐姐也向彬格莱问起过这件事。只见吉英满脸堆笑，容光焕发，这足以说明当天晚会上的种种情景使她多么满意。伊莉莎白顿时就看出了她的心情；于是顷刻之间就把她自己对于韦翰的想念、对于他仇人们的怨愤，以及其他种种感觉，都打消了，一心只希望吉英能够顺利走上幸福的道路。
她也和姐姐同样满面堆笑地说道：”我想问问你，你不没有听到什么有关韦翰先生的事？也许你太高兴了，想不到第三个人身上去吧；果真是那样的话，我一定可以谅解你的。”没有的事，”吉英回答道，”我并没有忘记他，可惜我没有什么满意的消息可以告诉你。彬格莱先生并不了解他的全部底细，至于他主要在哪些方面得罪了达西先生，彬格莱先生更是一无所知；不过他可以担保他自己的朋友品行良好，诚实正派，他并且以为达西先生过去对待韦翰先生已经好得过分了。说来遗憾，从他的话和她妹妹的话来看韦翰先生决不是一个正派的青年。我怕他果真是太莽撞，也难怪达西先生不去理睬他。”难道彬格莱先生自己不认识韦翰先生吗？”不认识，那天上午在麦里屯他还是初次和他见面。”那么，他这番话是从达西先生那儿听来的啦。我满意极了。关于那个牧师的职位的问题，他是怎么说的？”他只不过听达西先生说起过几次，详细情况他可记不清了，可是他相信，那个职位虽然规定了是给韦翰先生的，可也是有条件的。”
伊莉莎白激动地说：”彬格莱先生当然是个诚实君子喽，可是请你原谅，光凭几句话并不能叫我信服。彬格莱先生袒护他自己朋友的那些话，也许说得很有力；不过，他既然弄不清这件事的某些情节，而且另外一些情节又是听他朋友自己说的，那么，我还是不愿意改变我原来对他们两位先生的看法。”
Chapter 18 (part 1)
TILL Elizabeth entered the drawing-room at Netherfield and looked in vain for Mr. Wickham among the cluster of red coats there assembled, a doubt of his being present had never occurred to her. The certainty of meeting him had not been checked by any of those recollections that might not unreasonably have alarmed her. She had dressed with more than usual care, and prepared in the highest spirits for the conquest of all that remained unsubdued of his heart, trusting that it was not more than might be won in the course of the evening. But in an instant arose the dreadful suspicion of his being purposely omitted for Mr. Darcy’s pleasure in the Bingleys’ invitation to the officers; and though this was not exactly the case, the absolute fact of his absence was pronounced by his friend Mr. Denny, to whom Lydia eagerly applied, and who told them that Wickham had been obliged to go to town on business the day before, and was not yet returned; adding, with a significant smile,
“I do not imagine his business would have called him away just now, if he had not wished to avoid a certain gentleman here.”
This part of his intelligence, though unheard by Lydia, was caught by Elizabeth, and as it assured her that Darcy was not less answerable for Wickham’s absence than if her first surmise had been just, every feeling of displeasure against the former was so sharpened by immediate disappointment, that she could hardly reply with tolerable civility to the polite inquiries which he directly afterwards approached to make. — Attention, forbearance, patience with Darcy, was injury to Wickham. She was resolved against any sort of conversation with him, and turned away with a degree of ill humour, which she could not wholly surmount even in speaking to Mr. Bingley, whose blind partiality provoked her.
But Elizabeth was not formed for ill-humour; and though every prospect of her own was destroyed for the evening, it could not dwell long on her spirits; and having told all her griefs to Charlotte Lucas, whom she had not seen for a week, she was soon able to make a voluntary transition to the oddities of her cousin, and to point him out to her particular notice. The two first dances, however, brought a return of distress; they were dances of mortification. Mr. Collins, awkward and solemn, apologising instead of attending, and often moving wrong without being aware of it, gave her all the shame and misery which a disagreeable partner for a couple of dances can give. The moment of her release from him was exstacy.
She danced next with an officer, and had the refreshment of talking of Wickham, and of hearing that he was universally liked. When those dances were over she returned to Charlotte Lucas, and was in conversation with her, when she found herself suddenly addressed by Mr. Darcy, who took her so much by surprise in his application for her hand, that, without knowing what she did, she accepted him. He walked away again immediately, and she was left to fret over her own want of presence of mind; Charlotte tried to console her.
“I dare say you will find him very agreeable.”
“Heaven forbid! — That would be the greatest misfortune of all! — To find a man agreeable whom one is determined to hate! — Do not wish me such an evil.”
When the dancing recommenced, however, and Darcy approached to claim her hand, Charlotte could not help cautioning her, in a whisper, not to be a simpleton, and allow her fancy for Wickham to make her appear unpleasant in the eyes of a man of ten times his consequence. Elizabeth made no answer, and took her place in the set, amazed at the dignity to which she was arrived in being allowed to stand opposite to Mr. Darcy, and reading in her neighbours’ looks their equal amazement in beholding it. They stood for some time without speaking a word; and she began to imagine that their silence was to last through the two dances, and at first was resolved not to break it; till suddenly fancying that it would be the greater punishment to her partner to oblige him to talk, she made some slight observation on the dance. He replied, and was again silent. After a pause of some minutes, she addressed him a second time with:
“It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. — I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples.”
He smiled, and assured her that whatever she wished him to say should be said.
“Very well. — That reply will do for the present. — Perhaps by and by I may observe that private balls are much pleasanter than public ones. — But now we may be silent.”
“Do you talk by rule then, while you are dancing?”
“Sometimes. One must speak a little, you know. It would look odd to be entirely silent for half an hour together, and yet for the advantage of some, conversation ought to be so arranged as that they may have the trouble of saying as little as as possible.”
“Are you consulting your own feelings in the present case, or do you imagine that you are gratifying mine?”
“Both,” replied Elizabeth archly; “for I have always seen a great similarity in the turn of our minds. — We are each of an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak, unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room, and be handed down to posterity with all the eclat of a proverb.”
“This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I am sure,” said he. “How near it may be to mine, I cannot pretend to say. — You think it a faithful portrait undoubtedly.”
“I must not decide on my own performance.”
He made no answer, and they were again silent till they had gone down the dance, when he asked her if she and her sisters did not very often walk to Meryton. She answered in the affirmative, and, unable to resist the temptation, added, “When you met us there the other day, we had just been forming a new acquaintance.”
The effect was immediate. A deeper shade of hauteur overspread his features, but he said not a word, and Elizabeth, though blaming herself for her own weakness, could not go on. At length Darcy spoke, and in a constrained manner said,
“Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends — whether he may be equally capable of retaining them, is less certain.”
“He has been so unlucky as to lose your friendship,” replied Elizabeth with emphasis, “and in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his life.”
Darcy made no answer, and seemed desirous of changing the subject. At that moment Sir William Lucas appeared close to them, meaning to pass through the set to the other side of the room; but on perceiving Mr. Darcy he stopt with a bow of superior courtesy, to compliment him on his dancing and his partner.
“I have been most highly gratified indeed, my dear Sir. Such very superior dancing is not often seen. It is evident that you belong to the first circles. Allow me to say, however, that your fair partner does not disgrace you, and that I must hope to have this pleasure often repeated, especially when a certain desirable event, my dear Miss Eliza (glancing at her sister and Bingley), shall take place. What congratulations will then flow in! I appeal to Mr. Darcy: — but let me not interrupt you, Sir. — You will not thank me for detaining you from the bewitching converse of that young lady, whose bright eyes are also upbraiding me.”
The latter part of this address was scarcely, heard by Darcy; but Sir William’s allusion to his friend seemed to strike him forcibly, and his eyes were directed with a very serious expression towards Bingley and Jane, who were dancing together. Recovering himself, however, shortly, he turned to his partner, and said,
“Sir William’s interruption has made me forget what we were talking of.”
“I do not think we were speaking at all. Sir William could not have interrupted any two people in the room who had less to say for themselves. — We have tried two or three subjects already without success, and what we are to talk of next I cannot imagine.”
“What think you of books?” said he, smiling.
“Books — Oh! no. — I am sure we never read the same, or not with the same feelings.”
“I am sorry you think so; but if that be the case, there can at least be no want of subject. — We may compare our different opinions.”
“No — I cannot talk of books in a ball-room; my head is always full of something else.”
“The present always occupies you in such scenes — does it?” said he, with a look of doubt.
“Yes, always,” she replied, without knowing what she said, for her thoughts had wandered far from the subject, as soon afterwards appeared by her suddenly exclaiming,
“I remember hearing you once say, Mr. Darcy, that you hardly ever forgave, that your resentment once created was unappeasable. You are very cautious, I suppose, as to its being created.”
“I am,” said he, with a firm voice.
“And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?”
“I hope not.”
“It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first.”
“May I ask to what these questions tend?”
“Merely to the illustration of your character,” said she, endeavouring to shake off her gravity. “I am trying to make it out.”
“And what is your success?”
She shook her head. “I do not get on at all. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly.”
“I can readily believe,” answered he gravely, “that report may vary greatly with respect to me; and I could wish, Miss Bennet, that you were not to sketch my character at the present moment, as there is reason to fear that the performance would reflect no credit on either.”
“But if I do not take your likeness now, I may never have another opportunity.”
“I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours,” he coldly replied. She said no more, and they went down the other dance and parted in silence; on each side dissatisfied, though not to an equal degree, for in Darcy’s breast there was a tolerable powerful feeling towards her, which soon procured her pardon, and directed all his anger against another.
They had not long separated when Miss Bingley came towards her, and with an expression of civil disdain thus accosted her,
“So, Miss Eliza, I hear you are quite delighted with George Wickham! — Your sister has been talking to me about him, and asking me a thousand questions; and I find that the young man forgot to tell you, among his other communications, that he was the son of old Wickham, the late Mr. Darcy’s steward. Let me recommend you, however, as a friend, not to give implicit confidence to all his assertions; for as to Mr. Darcy’s using him ill, it is perfectly false; for, on the contrary, he has been always remarkably kind to him, though George Wickham has treated Mr. Darcy, in a most infamous manner. I do not know the particulars, but I know very well that Mr. Darcy is not in the least to blame, that he cannot bear to hear George Wickham mentioned, and that though my brother thought he could not well avoid including him in his invitation to the officers, he was excessively glad to find that he had taken himself out of the way. His coming into the country at all, is a most insolent thing indeed, and I wonder how he could presume to do it. I pity you, Miss Eliza, for this discovery of your favorite’s guilt; but really, considering his descent one could not expect much better.”
“His guilt and his descent appear by your account to be the same,” said Elizabeth angrily; “for I have heard you accuse him of nothing worse than of being the son of Mr. Darcy’s steward, and of that, I can assure you, he informed me himself.”
“I beg your pardon,” replied Miss Bingley, turning away with a sneer. “Excuse my interference. — It was kindly meant.”
“Insolent girl!” said Elizabeth to herself. — “You are much mistaken if you expect to influence me by such a paltry attack as this. I see nothing in it but your own wilful ignorance and the malice of Mr. Darcy.” She then sought her eldest sister, who had undertaken to make inquiries on the same subject of Bingley. Jane met her with a smile of such sweet complacency, a glow of such happy expression, as sufficiently marked how well she was satisfied with the occurrences of the evening. — Elizabeth instantly read her feelings, and at that moment solicitude for Wickham, resentment against his enemies and every thing else gave way before the hope of Jane’s being in the fairest way for happiness.
“I want to know,” said she, with a countenance no less smiling than her sister’s, “what you have learnt about Mr. Wickham. But perhaps you have been too pleasantly engaged to think of any third person, in which case you may be sure of my pardon.”
“No,” replied Jane, “I have not forgotten him; but I have nothing satisfactory to tell you. Mr. Bingley does not know the whole of his history, and is quite ignorant of the circumstances which have principally offended Mr. Darcy; but he will vouch for the good conduct, the probity and honour of his friend, and is perfectly convinced that Mr. Wickham has deserved much less attention from Mr. Darcy than he has received; and I am sorry to say that by his account as well as his sister’s, Mr. Wickham is by no means a respectable young man. I am afraid he has been very imprudent, and has deserved to lose Mr. Darcy’s regard.”
“Mr. Bingley does not know Mr. Wickham himself?”
“No; he never saw him till the other morning at Meryton.”
“This account then is what he has received from Mr. Darcy. I am perfectly satisfied. But what does he say of the living?”
“He does not exactly recollect the circumstances, though he has heard them from Mr. Darcy more than once, but he believes that it was left to him conditionally only.”
“I have not a doubt of Mr. Bingley’s sincerity,” said Elizabeth warmly; “but you must excuse my not being convinced by assurances only. Mr. Bingley’s defence of his friend was a very able one I dare say, but since he is unacquainted with several parts of the story, and has learnt the rest from that friend himself, I shall venture still to think of both gentlemen as I did before.”
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