第 14 章
吃飯的時候，班納特先生幾乎一句話也沒有說；可是等到傭人們走開以後，他就想道，現在可以跟這位客人談談了。他料想到，如果一開頭就談到咖苔琳夫人身上去，這位貴客一定會笑顏逐開的，於是他便拿這個話題做開場白，說是柯林斯先生有了那樣一個女施主，真是幸運極了，又說咖苔琳?德?包爾夫人對他這樣言聽計從，而且極其周到地照顧到他生活方面的安適，真是十分難得。班納特先生這個話題選得再好也沒有了。柯林斯先生果然滔滔不絕地讚美起那位夫人來。這個問題一談開了頭，他本來的那種嚴肅態度便顯得更嚴肅了，他帶著非常自負的神氣說，他一輩子也沒有看到過任何有身價地位的人，能夠象咖苔琳夫人那樣的有德行，那樣的親切謙和。他很榮幸，曾經當著她的面講過兩次道，多蒙夫人垂愛，對他那兩次講道讚美不絕。夫人曾經請他到羅新斯去吃過兩次飯，上星期六晚上還請他到她家裏去打過”誇錐”。據他所知，多少人都認為咖苔琳夫人為人驕傲，可是他只覺得親切。她平常跟他攀談起來，總是把他當作一個有身份的人看待。她絲毫不反對他和鄰居們來往，也不反對他偶而離開教區一兩個星期，去拜望拜望親友們。多蒙她體恤下情，曾經親自勸他及早結婚，只要他能夠謹慎選擇物件。她還到他的寒舍去拜訪過一次，對於他住宅所有經過他整修過的地方都十分贊成，並且蒙她親自賜予指示，叫他把樓上的璧櫥添置幾個架子。
班納特太太說：”我相信這一切都做得很得體，很有禮貌，我看她一定是個和顏悅色的女人。可惜一般貴夫人們都比不上她。她住的地方離你很近嗎，先生？”寒舍那個花園跟她老夫人住的羅新斯花園，只隔著一條胡同。”你說她是個寡婦嗎，先生？她還有家屬嗎？”她只有一個女兒，──也就是羅新斯的繼承人，將來可以繼承到非常大的一筆遺產呢。”噯呀，”班納特太太聽得叫了起來，一面又搖了搖頭。”那麼，她比多少姑娘們都福氣她。她是怎樣的一位小姐？長得漂亮嗎？”她真是個極可愛的姑娘。咖苔琳夫人自己也說過，講到真正的漂亮，德?包爾小姐要勝過天下最漂亮的女性；因為她眉清目秀，與眾不同，一看上去就知道她出身高貴。她本來可以多才多藝，只可惜她體質欠佳，沒有進修，否則她一定琴棋書畫樣樣通曉，這話是她女教師說給我聽的，那教師現在還跟她們母女住在一起。她的確是可愛透頂，常常不拘名份，乘著她那輛小馬車光臨寒舍。”她覲見過皇上嗎？在進過宮的仕女們中，我好象沒有聽見過她的名字。”不幸她身體柔弱，不能過京城去，正如我有一天跟咖苔琳夫人所說的，這實在使得英國的宮庭裏損失了一件最明媚的裝璜；她老人家對我這種說法很是滿意。你們可以想像得到，在任何場合下，我都樂於說幾句巧妙的恭維話，叫一般太太小姐們聽得高興。我跟咖苔琳夫人說過好多次，她的美麗的小姐是一位天生的公爵夫人，將來不管嫁給哪一位公爵姑爺，不論那位姑爺地位有多高，非但不會增加小姐的體面，反而要讓小姐來為他爭光。這些話都叫她老人家聽得高興極了，我總覺得我應該在這方面特別留意。”
班納特先生說：”你說得很恰當，你既然有這種才能，能夠非常巧妙地捧人家的場，這對於你自己也會有好處。我是否可以請教你一下，你這種討人喜歡的奉承話，是臨時想起來的呢，還是老早想好了的？”大半是看臨時的情形想起來的；不過有時候我也自己跟自己打趣，預先想好一些很好的小恭維話，平常有機會就拿來應用，而且臨說的時候，總是要裝出是自然流露出來的。”
班納特先生果然料想得完全正確，他這位表侄確實象他所想像的那樣荒謬，他聽得非常有趣，不過表面上卻竭力保持鎮靜，除了偶而朝著伊莉莎白望一眼以外，他並不需要別人來分享他這份愉快。
不過到吃茶的時候，這一場罪總算受完了。班納特先生高高興興地把客人帶到會客室裏，等到茶喝完了，他又高高興興地邀請他朗誦點什麼給他的太太和小姐們聽。柯林斯先生立刻就答應了，於是她們就拿了一本書給他，可是一看到那本書（因為那本書一眼就可以看出是從流通圖書館借來的）他就吃驚得往後一退，連忙聲明他從來不讀小說，請求她們原諒。吉蒂對他瞪著眼，麗迪雅叫起來了。於是她們另外拿了幾本書來，他仔細考慮了一下以後，選了一本弗迪斯的《講道集》。他一攤開那本書，麗迪雅不禁目瞪口呆，等到他那麼單調無味，一本正經地剛要讀完三頁的時候，麗迪雅趕快岔斷了他：媽媽，你知不知道腓力普姨爹要解雇李卻？要是他真的要解雇他，弗斯脫上校一定願意雇他。這是星期六那一天姨爹親自告訴我的。我打算明天上麥裏屯去多瞭解一些情況，順便問問他們，丹尼先生什麼時候從城裏回來。”
兩個姐姐都吩咐麗迪雅住嘴；柯林斯先生非常生氣，放下了書本，說道：我老是看到年輕的小姐們對正經書不感興趣，不過這些書完全是為了她們的好處寫的。老實說，這不能不叫我驚奇，因為對她們最有利益的事情，當然莫過於聖哲的教訓。可是我也不願意勉強我那年輕的表妹。”
於是他轉過身來要求班納特先生跟他玩”貝加夢”，班納特先生一面答應了他，一面說，這倒是個聰明的辦法，還是讓這些女孩子們去搞她們自己的小玩藝吧。班納特太太和她五個女兒極有禮貌地向他道歉，請他原諒麗迪雅打斷了他朗誦對書，並且說，他要是重新把那本書讀下去，她保證決不會有同樣的事件發生。柯林斯先生請她們不要介意，說是他一點兒也不怪表妹，決不會認為她冒犯了他而把她懷恨在心。他解釋過以後，就跟班納特先生坐到另一張桌子上去，準備玩”貝加夢”。
Chapter 14
DURING dinner, Mr. Bennet scarcely spoke at all; but when the servants were withdrawn, he thought it time to have some conversation with his guest, and therefore started a subject in which he expected him to shine, by observing that he seemed very fortunate in his patroness. Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s attention to his wishes, and consideration for his comfort, appeared very remarkable. Mr. Bennet could not have chosen better. Mr. Collins was eloquent in her praise. The subject elevated him to more than usual solemnity of manner, and with a most important aspect he protested that he had never in his life witnessed such behaviour in a person of rank — such affability and condescension, as he had himself experienced from Lady Catherine. She had been graciously pleased to approve of both the discourses which he had already had the honour of preaching before her. She had also asked him twice to dine at Rosings, and had sent for him only the Saturday before, to make up her pool of quadrille in the evening. Lady Catherine was reckoned proud by many people he knew, but he had never seen any thing but affability in her. She had always spoken to him as she would to any other gentleman; she made not the smallest objection to his joining in the society of the neighbourhood, nor to his leaving his parish occasionally for a week or two, to visit his relations. She had even condescended to advise him to marry as soon as he could, provided he chose with discretion; and had once paid him a visit in his humble parsonage; where she had perfectly approved all the alterations he had been making, and had even vouchsafed to suggest some herself, — some shelves in the closets up stairs.
“That is all very proper and civil I am sure,” said Mrs. Bennet, “and I dare say she is a very agreeable woman. It is a pity that great ladies in general are not more like her. Does she live near you, sir?”
“The garden in which stands my humble abode is separated only by a lane from Rosings Park, her ladyship’s residence.”
“I think you said she was a widow, sir? has she any family?”
“She has one only daughter, the heiress of Rosings, and of very extensive property.”
“Ah!” cried Mrs. Bennet, shaking her head, “then she is better off than many girls. And what sort of young lady is she? is she handsome?”
“She is a most charming young lady indeed. Lady Catherine herself says that in point of true beauty, Miss De Bourgh is far superior to the handsomest of her sex; because there is that in her features which marks the young woman of distinguished birth. She is unfortunately of a sickly constitution, which has prevented her making that progress in many accomplishments which she could not otherwise have failed of; as I am informed by the lady who superintended her education, and who still resides with them. But she is perfectly amiable, and often condescends to drive by my humble abode in her little phaeton and ponies.”
“Has she been presented? I do not remember her name among the ladies at court.”
“Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her being in town; and by that means, as I told Lady Catherine myself one day, has deprived the British court of its brightest ornament. Her ladyship seemed pleased with the idea, and you may imagine that I am happy on every occasion to offer those little delicate compliments which are always acceptable to ladies. I have more than once observed to Lady Catherine that her charming daughter seemed born to be a duchess, and that the most elevated rank, instead of giving her consequence, would be adorned by her. — These are the kind of little things which please her ladyship, and it is a sort of attention which I conceive myself peculiarly bound to pay.”
“You judge very properly,” said Mr. Bennet, “and it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous study?”
“They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time, and though I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible.”
Mr. Bennet’s expectations were fully answered. His cousin was as absurd as he had hoped, and he listened to him with the keenest enjoyment, maintaining at the same time the most resolute composure of countenance, and, except in an occasional glance at Elizabeth, requiring no partner in his pleasure.
By tea-time, however, the dose had been enough, and Mr. Bennet was glad to take his guest into the drawing-room again, and when tea was over, glad to invite him to read aloud to the ladies. Mr. Collins readily assented, and a book was produced; but on beholding it (for every thing announced it to be from a circulating library), he started back, and begging pardon, protested that he never read novels. — Kitty stared at him, and Lydia exclaimed. — Other books were produced, and after some deliberation he chose Fordyce’s Sermons. Lydia gaped as he opened the volume, and before he had, with very monotonous solemnity, read three pages, she interrupted him with,
“Do you know, mama, that my uncle Philips talks of turning away Richard, and if he does, Colonel Forster will hire him. My aunt told me so herself on Saturday. I shall walk to Meryton to-morrow to hear more about it, and to ask when Mr. Denny comes back from town.”
Lydia was bid by her two eldest sisters to hold her tongue; but Mr. Collins, much offended, laid aside his book, and said,
“I have often observed how little young ladies are interested by books of a serious stamp, though written solely for their benefit. It amazes me, I confess; — for certainly, there can be nothing so advantageous to them as instruction. But I will no longer importune my young cousin.”
Then turning to Mr. Bennet, he offered himself as his antagonist at backgammon. Mr. Bennet accepted the challenge, observing that he acted very wisely in leaving the girls to their own trifling amusements. Mrs. Bennet and her daughters apologised most civilly for Lydia’s interruption, and promised that it should not occur again, if he would resume his book; but Mr. Collins, after assuring them that he bore his young cousin no ill will, and should never resent her behaviour as any affront, seated himself at another table with Mr. Bennet, and prepared for backgammon.
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