第 40 章
伊莉莎白非把那樁事告訴吉英不可了，再也忍耐不住了。於是她決定把牽涉到姐姐的地方，都一概不提，第二天上午就把達西先生跟她求婚的那一幕，揀主要情節說了出來，她料定吉英聽了以後，一定會感到詫異。
班納特小姐對伊莉莎白手足情深，覺得她妹妹被任何人愛上了都是理所當然的事情，因此開頭雖然驚訝，過後便覺得不足為奇了。她替達西先生惋惜，覺得他不應該用那種很不得體的方式來傾訴衷情；但她更難過的是，她妹妹拒絕會給他造成怎樣的難堪。
她說：”他那種十拿九穩會成功的態度實在要不得，他至少千萬不應該讓你看出這種態度，可是你倒想一想，這一來他會失望到什麼地步啊。”
伊莉莎白回答道：”我的確萬分替他難過；可是，他既然還有那麼些顧慮，他對我的好感可能不久就會完全消失。你總不會怪我拒絕了他吧？”
”怪你！噢，不會的。”
”可是我幫韋翰說話幫得那麼厲害，你會怪我嗎？”
”不怪你；我看不出你那樣說有什麼錯。”
”等我把下一天的事告訴了你，你就一定看得出有錯了。”
於是她就說起那封信，把有關喬治韋翰的部分，都一點一滴講了出來。可憐的吉英聽得多麼驚奇！她即使走遍天下，也不會相信人間竟會有這許多罪惡，而現在這許多罪惡竟集中在這樣一個人身上。雖說達西的剖白使她感到滿意。可是既然發現了其中有這樣一個隱情，她也就不覺得安慰了。她誠心誠意地想說明這件事可能與事實有出入，竭力想去洗清這一個冤屈，又不願叫另一個受到委屈。
伊莉莎白說：”這怎麼行，你絕對沒有辦法兩全其美。兩個裏面你只能揀一個。他們兩個人一共只有那麼多優點，勉強才夠得上一個好人的標準，近來這些優點又在兩個人之間移來動去，移動得非常厲害。對我來講，我比較偏向于達西先生，覺得這些優點都是他的，你可以隨你自己的意思。”
過了好一會兒，吉英臉上才勉強露出笑容。
她說：”我生平最吃驚的事莫過於此，韋翰原來這樣壞！這幾乎叫人不能。相信達西先生真可憐！親愛的麗萃，你且想想，他會多麼痛苦。他遭受到這樣的一次失望！而且他又知道了你看不起他！還不得不把他自己妹妹的這種私事都講出來！這的確叫他太痛苦了，我想你也會有同感吧。”
”沒有的事；看到你對他這樣惋惜和同情，我反而心安理得了。我知道你會竭力幫他講話，因此我反而越來越不把它當一回事。你的感情豪爽造成了我的感情吝嗇；要是你再為他嘆惜，我就會輕鬆愉快得要飛起來了。”
”可憐的韋翰！他的面貌那麼善良，他的風度那麼文雅。”
”那兩位年輕人在教養方面，一定都有非常欠缺的地方。一個的好處全藏在裏面，一個的好處全露在外邊。”
”你以為達西先生只是儀錶方面有欠缺，我可從來不這麼想。”
”可是我倒以為你這樣對他深惡痛絕，固然說不上什麼理由，卻是非常聰明。這樣的厭惡，足以激勵人的天才，啟發人的智慧。例如，你不斷地罵人，當然說不出一句好話；你要是常常取笑人，倒很可能偶然想到一句妙語。”
”麗萃，你第一次讀那封信的時候，我相信你對待這件事的看法一定和現在不同。”
”當然不同，我當時十分難受。我非常難受……可以說是很不快活。我心裏有許多感觸，可是找不到一個人可以傾訴，也沒有個吉英來安慰安慰我，說我並不像我自己所想像的那樣懦弱，虛榮和荒誕！噢，我真少不了你啊！”
”你在達西先生面前說到韋翰的時候，語氣那麼強硬，這真是多麼不幸啊！現在看起來，那些話實在顯得不怎麼得體。”
”的確如此，我確實不應該說得那麼刻毒，可是我既然事先存了偏見，自然難免如此。有件事我要請教你。你說我應該不應該把韋翰的品格說出去，讓朋友們都知道？”
班納特小姐想了一會兒才說道：”當然用不著叫他太難堪。你的意見如何？”
”我也覺得不必如此。達西先生並沒有允許我把他所說的話公開外界聲張。他反而吩咐我說，凡是牽涉到他妹妹的事，都要儘量保守秘密；說到韋翰其他方面的品行，我即使要對大家說老實話，又有誰會相信？一般人對達西先生都存著那麼深的成見，你要叫別人對他有好感，麥裏屯有一半人死也不願意。我真沒有辦法。好在韋翰馬上就要走了，他的真面目究竟怎樣，與任何人都無關。總會有一天真相大白，那時候我們就可以譏笑人們為什麼那麼蠢，沒有早些知道。目前我可絕口不提。”
”你的話對極了。要揭露他的錯誤，可能就會斷送了他的一生。也許他現在已經後悔，痛下決心，重新做人。我們千萬不要弄得他走投無路。”
這番談話以後，伊莉莎白的騷憂的心境平靜了些。兩星期來，這兩件秘密心思一直壓在她的心頭，如今總算放下了一塊大石頭，她相信以後要是再談起這兩件事來，不論其中哪一件，吉英都會願意聽。可是這裏面還有些蹊蹺，為了謹慎起見，她可不敢說出來。她不敢談到達西先生那封信的另外一半，也不敢向姐姐說明：他那位朋友對姐姐是多麼竭誠器重。這件事是不能讓任何人知道的，她覺得除非把各方面的情況裏裏外外都弄明白了，這最後的一點秘密還不應該揭露。她想：”這樣看來，如果那件不大可能的事一旦居然成了事實，我便可以把這件秘密說出來，不過到那時候，彬格萊先生自己也許會說得更動聽。要說出這番穩情，非等到事過境遷，才輪不到我呢！”
現在既然到了家，她就有閒暇的時間來觀察姐姐的真正心情。吉英心裏並不快活。她對彬格萊仍未能忘情。她先前甚至沒有幻想到自己會對他鍾情，因此她的柔情密意竟像初戀那麼熱烈，而且由於她的年齡和品性的關係，她比初戀的人們還要來得堅貞不移。她癡情地盼望著他能記住她，她把他看得比天下任何男人都高出一等，幸虧她很識時務，看出了他朋友們的心思，這才沒有多愁多恨，否則一定會毀了她的健康，憂亂了她心境的安寧。
有一天，班納特太太這麼說：”喂，麗萃，這一下你對於吉英這件傷心事怎麼看法呢？我可已經下定決心，再也不在任何人面前提起。我那天就跟我妹妹說過，我知道吉英在倫敦連他的影子也沒有見到，唔，他是個不值得鍾情的青年，我看她這一輩子休想嫁給他了。也沒有聽人談起他夏天會回到尼日斐花園來，凡是可能知道些消息的人，我都一一問過了。”
”我看他無論如何不會再住到尼日斐花園來。”
”哎喲，聽他的便吧。誰也沒有要他來；我只覺得他太對不起我的女兒，要是我做吉英，我才受不了這口氣。好吧，我也總算有個安慰：我相信吉英一定會傷心得把命也送掉，到那時候，他就會後悔當初不該那麼狠心了。”
伊莉莎白沒有回答，因為這種想入非非的指望，並不能使她得到安慰。
沒有多大工夫，她母親又接下去說：”這麼說來，麗萃，柯林斯夫婦日子過得很舒服啊，可不是嗎？好極好極，但願他們天長地久。他們每天的飯菜怎麼樣？夏綠蒂一定是個了不起的管家婆。她只要有她媽媽一半那麼精明，就夠省儉的了。他們的日常生活決不會有什麼浪費。”
”當然，絲毫也不浪費。”
”他們一定是管家管得好極了。不錯，不錯。他們小心謹慎，不讓他們的支出超過收入，他們是永遠不愁沒有錢的。好吧，願上帝保佑他們吧！據我猜想，他們一定會常常談到你父親去世以後，來接收浪搏恩。要是這一天到了，我看他們真會把它看作他們自己的財產呢。”
”這件事，他們當然不便當著我的面提。”
”當然不便，要是提了，那才叫怪呢。可是我相信，他們自己一定會常常談到的。唔，要是他們拿了這筆非法的財產能夠心安理得，那是再好也沒有了。倘若叫我來接受這筆法庭硬派給他的財產，我才會害臊呢。”
Chapter 40
ELIZABETH’S impatience to acquaint Jane with what had happened could no longer be overcome; and at length resolving to suppress every particular in which her sister was concerned, and preparing her to be surprised, she related to her the next morning the chief of the scene between Mr. Darcy and herself.
Miss Bennet’s astonishment was soon lessened by the strong sisterly partiality which made any admiration of Elizabeth appear perfectly natural; and all surprise was shortly lost in other feelings. She was sorry that Mr. Darcy should have delivered his sentiments in a manner so little suited to recommend them; but still more was she grieved for the unhappiness which her sister’s refusal must have given him.
“His being so sure of succeeding, was wrong,” said she; “and certainly ought not to have appeared; but consider how much it must increase his disappointment.”
“Indeed,” replied Elizabeth, “I am heartily sorry for him; but he has other feelings which will probably soon drive away his regard for me. You do not blame me, however, for refusing him?”
“Blame you! Oh, no.”
“But you blame me for having spoken so warmly of Wickham.”
“No — I do not know that you were wrong in saying what you did.”
“But you will know it, when I have told you what happened the very next day.”
She then spoke of the letter, repeating the whole of its contents as far as they concerned George Wickham. What a stroke was this for poor Jane! who would willingly have gone through the world without believing that so much wickedness existed in the whole race of mankind, as was here collected in one individual. Nor was Darcy’s vindication, though grateful to her feelings, capable of consoling her for such discovery. Most earnestly did she labour to prove the probability of error, and seek to clear one without involving the other.
“This will not do,” said Elizabeth. “You never will be able to make both of them good for any thing. Take your choice, but you must be satisfied with only one. There is but such a quantity of merit between them; just enough to make one good sort of man; and of late it has been shifting about pretty much. For my part, I am inclined to believe it all Mr. Darcy’s, but you shall do as you chuse.”
It was some time, however, before a smile could be extorted from Jane.
“I do not know when I have been more shocked,” said she. “Wickham so very bad! It is almost past belief. And poor Mr. Darcy! dear Lizzy, only consider what he must have suffered. Such a disappointment! and with the knowledge of your ill opinion too! and having to relate such a thing of his sister! It is really too distressing. I am sure you must feel it so.”
“Oh! no, my regret and compassion are all done away by seeing you so full of both. I know you will do him such ample justice, that I am growing every moment more unconcerned and indifferent. Your profusion makes me saving; and if you lament over him much longer, my heart will be as light as a feather.”
“Poor Wickham; there is such an expression of goodness in his countenance! such an openness and gentleness in his manner.”
“There certainly was some great mismanagement in the education of those two young men. One has got all the goodness, and the other all the appearance of it.”
“I never thought Mr. Darcy so deficient in the appearance of it as you used to do.”
“And yet I meant to be uncommonly clever in taking so decided a dislike to him, without any reason. It is such a spur to one’s genius, such an opening for wit to have a dislike of that kind. One may be continually abusive without saying any thing just; but one cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.”
“Lizzy when you first read that letter, I am sure you could not treat the matter as you do now.”
“Indeed I could not. I was uncomfortable enough. I was very uncomfortable, I may say unhappy. And with no one to speak to of what I felt, no Jane to comfort me and say that I had not been so very weak and vain and nonsensical as I knew I had! Oh! how I wanted you!”
“How unfortunate that you should have used such very strong expressions in speaking of Wickham to Mr. Darcy, for now they do appear wholly undeserved.”
“Certainly. But the misfortune of speaking with bitterness is a most natural consequence of the prejudices I had been encouraging. There is one point on which I want your advice. I want to be told whether I ought, or ought not, to make our acquaintance in general understand Wickham’s character.”
Miss Bennet paused a little and then replied, “Surely there can be no occasion for exposing him so dreadfully. What is your own opinion?”
“That it ought not to be attempted. Mr. Darcy has not authorised me to make his communication public. On the contrary, every particular relative to his sister was meant to be kept as much as possible to myself; and if I endeavour to undeceive people as to the rest of his conduct, who will believe me? The general prejudice against Mr. Darcy is so violent, that it would be the death of half the good people in Meryton to attempt to place him in an amiable light. I am not equal to it. Wickham will soon be gone; and therefore it will not signify to anybody here, what he really is. Sometime hence it will be all found out, and then we may laugh at their stupidity in not knowing it before. At present I will say nothing about it.”
“You are quite right. To have his errors made public might ruin him for ever. He is now perhaps sorry for what he has done, and anxious to re-establish a character. We must not make him desperate.”
The tumult of Elizabeth’s mind was allayed by this conversation. She had got rid of two of the secrets which had weighed on her for a fortnight, and was certain of a willing listener in Jane, whenever she might wish to talk again of either. But there was still something lurking behind, of which prudence forbad the disclosure. She dared not relate the other half of Mr. Darcy’s letter, nor explain to her sister how sincerely she had been valued by his friend. Here was knowledge in which no one could partake; and she was sensible that nothing less than a perfect understanding between the parties could justify her in throwing off this last incumbrance of mystery. “And then,” said she, “if that very improbable event should ever take place, I shall merely be able to tell what Bingley may tell in a much more agreeable manner himself. The liberty of communication cannot be mine till it has lost all its value!”
She was now, on being settled at home, at leisure to observe the real state of her sister’s spirits. Jane was not happy. She still cherished a very tender affection for Bingley. Having never even fancied herself in love before, her regard had all the warmth of first attachment, and, from her age and disposition, greater steadiness than first attachments often boast; and so fervently did she value his remembrance, and prefer him to every other man, that all her good sense, and all her attention to the feelings of her friends, were requisite to check the indulgence of those regrets which must have been injurious to her own health and their tranquillity.
“Well, Lizzy,” said Mrs. Bennet one day, “what is your opinion now of this sad business of Jane’s? For my part, I am determined never to speak of it again to anybody. I told my sister Philips so the other day. But I cannot find out that Jane saw any thing of him in London. Well, he is a very undeserving young man — and I do not suppose there is the least chance in the world of her ever getting him now. There is no talk of his coming to Netherfield again in the summer; and I have enquired of every body, too, who is likely to know.”
“I do not believe that he will ever live at Netherfield any more.”
“Oh, well! it is just as he chooses. Nobody wants him to come. Though I shall always say that he used my daughter extremely ill; and if I was her, I would not have put up with it. Well, my comfort is, I am sure Jane will die of a broken heart, and then he will be sorry for what he has done.”
But as Elizabeth could not receive comfort from any such expectation, she made no answer.
“Well, Lizzy,” continued her mother soon afterwards, “and so the Collinses live very comfortable, do they? Well, well, I only hope it will last. And what sort of table do they keep? Charlotte is an excellent manager, I dare say. If she is half as sharp as her mother, she is saving enough. There is nothing extravagant in their housekeeping, I dare say.”
“No, nothing at all.”
“A great deal of good management, depend upon it. Yes, yes. They will take care not to outrun their income. They will never be distressed for money. Well, much good may it do them! And so, I suppose, they often talk of having Longbourn when your father is dead. They look upon it quite as their own, I dare say, whenever that happens.”
“It was a subject which they could not mention before me.”
“No. It would have been strange if they had. But I make no doubt, they often talk of it between themselves. Well, if they can be easy with an estate that is not lawfully their own, so much the better. I should be ashamed of having one that was only entailed on me.”
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